10 Tips to Get Your Shy Kid Involved In Sports
Sports are one of the best ways for kids to get the physical activity they need to stay healthy. More importantly, sports help kids develop self confidence, social skills, and independence. But, if your kid is shy and doesn’t want to get involved in sports, what do you do?
Here are 10 tips that can help your shy kid participate and enjoy sports:
Get exposed to new activities in safe environments
Start at home with basic activities that take your kid outside their comfort zone. Maybe go outside and throw the ball around. Home is a comfortable place with comfortable people and starting here will be easier than in public or with a team.
As you practice more, start incorporating more advanced activities and some friendly competition. This will give your kid a taste of a team or league environment.
Create routines, mentally prepare, and plan ahead
Kids need to be treated like adults so they can learn and grow. Adults know how important a routine and planning can be, so why not give that same structure to kids? Kids need structure, especially when they are a little shy.
Try:
Talking about the activity during the week leading up. They’ll be more mentally prepared for what’s to come.
Asking questions about how they feel the activity will go. Work through their feelings with them and help them feel safe.
Letting them in on the routine ahead of time. “Every Sunday for the next month, we have soccer practice.”
Validate and talk about feelings
Acknowledging feelings is so important. Saying “you’re fine” is dismissive and confusing. They’re feeling sad or scared, but Mom and Dad say they’re fine. They’re now unsure if they should be, or are even allowed to, be feeling the way they feel.
Instead, validate, normalize, and relate. “It’s ok to feel nervous when you’re starting something new, I was nervous for my first basketball game too.”
Now that they know they have your support, they’re more likely to hear what you’ve got to say. “When Mommy feels nervous, I take 3 deep breaths and remind myself, I can do this!
Provide positive reinforcement
Kids need this from authority figures to help build confidence. Focus on effort and improvements rather than current abilities and results.
Instead of saying:
“Wow you’re such a great soccer player”Try:
“I’m so proud of the effort you’ve been putting into soccer practice”Talk about the importance of sports
It’s easier to do things when you know why you’re doing it, so tell your kid why sports are important to their development. With this information, they’ll be able to think for themselves and feel a sense of independence. It’s beneficial for both confidence and overcoming shyness.
“I know you’re feeling a little bit nervous about playing on the baseball team and that’s ok. It’s normal to feel nervous when starting something new. But playing baseball can help you get exercise which is good for building a strong body and a strong mind.”
Teach a giving mindset
Oftentimes, shyness comes from focusing on what others think of you. Teaching a giving mindset will shift their focus to the needs of others rather than their own needs.
Instead of thinking “I’m scared of what they’ll think of me”, try thinking “How can I be a good teammate? What can I contribute to this team?”
Lead by example
Join a spin class, yoga class, or fighting class. Tell your kid what you are doing. Communicate your feelings of nerves and discomfort when trying something new.
After you finish the class, take the opportunity to tell your kid how you got through the nerves. Highlight how much fun you had once you got past the hesitation. Or, if not, be honest and teach them about trying things out to learn what you like and don't like.
Start slow in a small group or private setting
When your shy kid is ready to start sports with non-family members, start with the low stress kind. This means one with less than 4-5 kids or even private lessons. This will limit the social pressures and allow your kid to focus on enjoying the sport.
Once they get used to this, then try bigger steps going into a league or larger classes.
Start with an individualized sport
Another low stress option is to start with an individual sport like swimming. There are usually no teammates relying on you, and if there are, the teams are smaller than regular team sports like baseball or football.
They get to focus on participating in the sport without having to worry about responsibilities to teammates.
By all means, do not force
To develop a sense of self worth and confidence, kids need opportunities to make decisions for themselves. If they don’t want sports, all you can do is continue to encourage them to try new things with the tips above.
Over time, letting kids make their own decisions will grow their confidence and that in itself can increase their chances of playing a sport. So, sometimes all you need is a little patience.
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Catch You Next Time,
NH Sports
